I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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