Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
