yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
