yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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