have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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