Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
