i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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