This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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