so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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