just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize