He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
