drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
