His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
