Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
