so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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