Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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