Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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