He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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