I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize