wakey wakey hands off snakey
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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