I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
