Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
