She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
