if you like me you must not know who I am
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
