the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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