my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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