Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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