I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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