She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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