Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
