i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize