Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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