it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
