Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
