Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
