We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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