The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize