ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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