ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
