Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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