He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
