6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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