I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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