So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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