Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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