He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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