so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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