We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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