I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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