we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
