She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
