Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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