I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I touched a dick in church today
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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