The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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