$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mom said you looked used
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
