I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
