So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
