peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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