Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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