planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
