This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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