Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
