Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
