so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
