what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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