some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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