I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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