I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
