I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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