Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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