I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
